Basics of Friendship
Do you ever look at the people around you and just appreciate your friends? Not all the people in your life are friends, and you need to be able to recognize the difference. Some people are in your life because they have the same interests as you, some are in your life because you work with them, others just want something from you (yes I said that), and others are real friends. What do I consider a real friend? No, do not look at your Facebook page and answer with that number, you don’t even know half of those people really! Oh, you do, you say? Go through every single one of your “friends” and name their kids, what would make them uniquely happy, or something else that few know about them. I love having all the connections on Facebook, but that number is not even close to the genuine friendships I have. I think, outside of my wife, I have probably 4 or 5. I love each of them more than they will ever know, and know that love is returned.
Most people have only about 3-5 really close friends. Why so low? Because having real friendships requires lots of time, work, and effort. Great friendships don’t happen by accident. They are many times God-ordained relationships for the benefit of each party. When people tell me they have a one-sided friendship, I usually tell them, “No, you don’t. You have a one-sided relationship, but not a friendship.” Here is part of my criteria for a genuine relationship:
- They love you regardless of what you do for a living.
- They could care less about your money. They don’t fluctuate as your income does.
- You can call them, rant, rave, scream, and cry, and they will listen through ears of love.
- When you are wrong, they will tell you, and while it might hurt a little, you will accept it.
- You can share your deepest sin, and it will stay with them. They will help you through it, not call the Pastor with a “prayer request” for you. Man, I hate that kind of gossip. Side note, if you would like to be a part of Baypointe Church, don’t ever do that crapus maximus. (That’s Latin for stupid, stinkin, pile of selfish, crapola.)
- If it’s 3AM and you need them, they will be there and you know it. Physically if they need to be.
- They celebrate your wins with you and mourn your losses with equal passion.
There are plenty more because each friendship brings with it unique dynamics. These are a few of what I consider the basics.
Are you a friend to someone? Are you allowing someone to be your friend? It’s a two way street my…friend.