This morning I will be in a hospital waiting room. I will be there waiting to hear the news on how my Mother-In-Law’s surgery goes. I wish I could say it is a “routine” procedure (whatever that is..) It’s not, it’s a massive thing that is going to bring complete painfree living here on this earth, or on the other side. It is a decision she is comfortable with, has prayed about, and I support.
How many religious clichés will I hear today? Better than that, how many will I tell myself trying to find the same peace she is displaying? How many things that I have said to others will I now try to convince myself of? I know we say them partly because they are true, and partly because we don’t know what else to say.
Here’s the raw, honest, truth: I believe in Jesus with everything I am. I KNOW he can heal, raise from the dead, and gives the greatest peace mankind knows. If I know these things, why do I still feel “uneasy” about today. Am I worried? Yes, even though I know Christ has told me not to and that it will do no good. Am I scared? A little, even though it does no good. I know how I feel, and I know they are not “right” and I should just have “faith.” How do I shift the things I know in my head to the places in my heart they need to be. The answer is simple: I don’t know. But maybe I don’t need to.
Here is what I know and believe. At the end of the day, I will still follow Christ with everything I am. I will still have emotions that I sometimes can’t control. I will still have questions, concerns, and “discussions” with Jesus. I will love Him and He will love me. Whatever happens, I still know the power of God, even if I can’t explain it all.
